May heaven accepts us when its time to go home

I've been thinking a lot lately.
Been through a lot too.
Don't know why but there will be a certain time i suddenly feel...
erm..
so empty,
so painful,
so breathless,
as if i'm drowning,
as if there is an invisible rope is strangling me.

There is this heaviness in my chest, this invisible burden on my shoulder..
Life is hard, isn't it?
I already knew this, but still it doesn't get easier by knowing it...
*talan air liur dalam2..sigh~

but i know, i do know that God places the heaviset burden on those who can carry it ba.

And i know that i am not alone.
There are countless angels around me to help me during these suffering times.
And i just have to spot their wing..ha ha


And that no matter how big your trouble or obstacles are,

nothing is bigger than God.

And thats what keep me going.
Because deep in my heart,

i know that He will provide.

and i guess the reason i'm able to stand up now,
is not because i rely not on my own strength, but because of the strength that He has given to me ne.

And i feel that there are many timeGod do answer my prayers ne..
But because i expect Him to speak or to appear to me in an extraordinary way,
yes i do, i expect God to send me a dove from heaven,
or that He will show up in front of me when i open my eyes,
or that He will shows me miracle or something like that..
plis la aibeh..plis...

But i learned something in the LifeFire camp 2010 at Bundu Tuhan.
That God do speaks to us in an ordinary way too.
But because i expect something more than ordinary,
i tend to ignore it, and still waiting for the extraordinary thing.
And as i pray during the Quiet time,
i search for a quiet place and i pray silently,
and i feel so calm,
and for the first time in my life, i pray wholeheartedly.
i gave 101% of my heart.
And i feel touched by Him in a way that i can never explain in words.

A wonderful feeling that one can only experience by oneself to understand.

Yes, my life do get harder since i follow Him,
but amazingly, I still feel happy.
I feel belong.
I feel contented in a way that i never have before this.
And at most,
I feel stronger.

Before this, its like there is this hole in my heart, this emptiness that kills me.
And now i feel like God is filling it slowly, bits by bits everday.
Filling it with all the Joy, Faith, Courage and Love...and so on~

God is good, all the time!

Just when i feel so mad because i think God is taking something away from me,
He send me another thing that is BETTER.

Eeee..so amazing ne...

Im in awe and i can't stop being grateful for the thing that He gave me..
And i guess when u are grateful, u will feel Happy.
because u don't feel there's any lacking in life.
And u feel like u have everything u need.

There is this one friend that is moved to UPSI this semester,
(she's another wingless angel that i know since high school)
and i started to really notice her wing only when she left. ha ha.
actually i do notice her wing lamaaa suda ba, cuma tidak betul2 tengok.
besala, sudah kehilangan baru mau menghargai..ha ha
thank God its not a permanent lost kan sherry?^^

And then this semester God send me 2 new wingless angel.

A pair of angels.

:O
I met them during CSG gatherings and that time...
Little did i know that i'll really need them in my life ne.
As i become closer to her(one of them),
there is this strong feeling that tell me that God send her to me for a reason.
And its like i've know her for years ne..

Eeee~
Im so grateful ne.
I used to talk a lot about everything to Sherry, but now that she is gone..
Its like God knows ne, and she sends another angel.

Debbie, thank you for coming to my life.

and dear God, Thank You.
May i always appreciate them.
Every each of them, no matter how difficult they can be.
GBU. ^^

Dedicate this song to u: