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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Note to God

I know You miss me.
I do too, but i just dont have the will to put so much effort to come back to You. Im coming back now. Its been quite a while since the last time.
Hurm. Maybe its because things have been turning out pretty wel for me. And i tend to forget. Im just as human as others.
And well, things can be quite annoying sometimes.
And sometimes when people give me those indirectly hurtful remarks, i may look like i dont care and took it as jokes, but sometime i do feel small, feel useless, and yes feel insulted as well.
Again. Im just as human as you do.
But i know im the kind of person that shows nothing on my face but yet, you never know whats been playing in my mind.
Im just good at hiding my feeling.
Which sometimes can be a bad things you know.
And yes, im the kind of person that will keep things in my heart, not on my faces,  trying to bear as much as i can when people hurt try to me, accumulated those negative feeling and end up having lots of the so called luka batin.
Spirituality hurt.
And guess where did i let out all those negative feeling, those hidden feeling of  hatred and unsatisfactory?
Those seminar and retreat.
Thank God there is medium for me to channel out my voiceless voice that i had been keeping al those times..
Thank God there is Life Fire.
Thank God there is CSG.
THANK GOD.
*Which i went once every year, or if im lucky, once every semester.
To give me one of those inner healing.
Oh yes. Things has been turning out pretty well for me.
Well. For now.