Over you-Daughtry

'I guess its really over, i'm finally getting better
And now i'm picking up the pieces,
spending all of these year
putting my heart back together


cause the day i thought i'd never get through,
I got over you.'


Can't keep this song out of my mind. 
I love all the songs by Daughtry. =)

P.s : This is my way of crying with you, and I hope that soon I will be able to smile with you too.

whats wrong...with me?

sigh~

i need to talk to that 'someone'.

Lama dy didn't talk to u.

I'm on my way to believing

It's almost the end of year 2010.

Time really FLY, don't they?

It's even faster than the speed of light, 3x10^8 ms.

And Christmas is around the corner.

Christmas!

The thoughts that sprang to my mind when i heard the word Christmas are:

1. Christmas present (yeh ini memang paling 1st dlm otak)

2. Christmas tree! (supaya boleh decorate2 kunun)

3. Santa claus!! (odoii..ini time budak2 la)

4. Christmas dress and new clothes (ini pun tiap2 tahun misti ada)

5. Makan2~ (ini nda payah cakap la)

These 5 are mainly the thing that were in my mind as a child. I don't know about others, but as a child, i really didn't think much about christmas.

I could have list lotsa other thing but i know and quite sure the only thing that wouldn't cross my mind at that time is :

The birth of  Jesus Christ.

Perhaps it did cross my mind, u know. 

Yes, i am a christian since the day i was born.

But to be honest, i don't really know Him.

U see, i heard this once in one of the Lifefire camp that i joined, by dereck. He said:

The God u know when u are 10, is different from the God u know when you are 15, and by the time u are 20, the God you is dfferent too from the God u knew when you were 10.

Make sense? 

And it was until i came to Labuan matriculation college,

 i guess that's where i started to REALLY know Him more.

And when i came to UMS and joined Lifefire and Catholic Student Group,

i know Him even more, and yes i fall deeply in love with Him.

My life in UMS is where i really know Him and now i'm still searching for more.

And more.

It was worth every struggle to be who i am, to be where i am today.

Dear Jesus, thank You because You found me. 

As i grow older, i realize more of the meaning of Christmas.

I no longer long for new clothes, 

or christmas tree,

or christmas present(but i wouldn't refuse if u wanna give me tho')

what matters to me is that as long as im with my family 

and as long as we are together to spend and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ,

then it is more than Enough.

may God bless us with the wisdom we need to really appreciate the true meaning of chirstmas.

I know i'm not the one to talk, i'm still on my way to believing.

So let's walk together. And grow together.

Dear Lord, 

U know my hope, my dream, my fear, my wish, my failure and my everything,

but even tho' U know, u still love me.

and i know that U listen to every unheard prayer that's in my heart.

For this christmas, if i were to be granted 1 wish, the only thing i wish for is his healing.

If it is Ur will, then let him be healed.

Please bless him, strengthen him, and be with him.

Amen.

P.s : Dad, please know that i love u even tho i don't really show it. Please get well soon. May God bless u abundantly. 

Amen. :)

Let go & LET GOD

It's been 3 years.
Sigh~
It's tiring. Emotionally.
And i dislike what it is turning me into.
I don't feel angry, i just feel hurt.
And sometime i hate myself for not being able to feel angry.
aish..biarla.

Patience and faith are the only thing i have left.
If i've come this far, perhaps it is worth the tiredness.
Is it?

And this undefined thing has been kinda roller-coaster-ride for me.
Sometime it makes me happy for no reason,
sometime it hurt so much that i wish nothing ever happened.
But most of the time, i feel like a fool.
But its ok though.
I guess that's life.

It's time to let go.
and LET GOD.

Saying is always easier than doing it, right?
I know i can't do this alone.
But with God, nothing is impossible ba
Have Your way in me Lord.
Amen.

Good bye.

P.s: I can forgive, but i can never forget.