Hakuna Matata

Hakuna matata means no worries. *I forgot what language it is..

O yay!! Im so overjoy right now. I just came back from my 3 days programme for the Welcoming Junior Party. Though i feel so tired, im so happy, so alive and so content.

Waha. Wahaha! Wahahaha.. *sa ketawa dulu selama 5 minit

I know that i should be worried about my FYP. *is it too early to be worried? Dei..

But still im too happy to worry. Well. I pretty much get the idea of how im going to do my FYP already, and i've started a bit already..maybe thats why.

And well, i guess my life here is not all just about FYP. And i almost forgot that. =)
There are so many more things in life, and FYP is just one of it, so no point in worrying about 1 thing and forget all the other things that make you feel so happy and alive.

Since i am in my final year now and since im one of the comitee member of CSG UMS, i guess there's no better time that serve more passionately in CSG. Well. better late than never kan.

I knew that i will get something from this WJP thing, but i never thought that i would actually so much more! O Yay!! GIve thanks to the Lord! Alleluia! =D

O man, i meet and welcomed so many juniors these few weeks that i  really feels that time passes so QUICK.
Suddenly im in my 3rd year now?! *tiapa, yang penting jiwa sia sentiasa mudaa!! o yeah..parasan sendiri..

Embaa..sa mau kuak dada lu di tilam sia. Nite all! God bless u guys!!!

Un-Home

‘All my bags are packed..im ready to go. .lalalaa..’

Well, not really.  I guess we are never too old to be homesick.

Even though all your things are packed, you still feel so reluctant to go away from home. And they said, “Home is a place where our feet leave, but not your heart”.

So i went back on 8^th July 2010(Thursday).

Ya i know, a little too early to go back when my lectures start on the next Wednesday..!?

But i sign up to be the ajk for the Sehari Bersama Kolej,

*which i kinda regrets because i could have spend another 6 days at home doing ermm....nothing.?

Okay, apparently Sehari Bersama Kolej is not only for 1 day huh. They should’ve change it to like ermm..Berhari hari bersama Kolej.duh.

So on Thursday i went back to KKIP and right after my parent went back, i feel so un-HOME-SWEET-HOME  already. Huhuhhuhuhu..dont know if such word exist, but i bet so many people feel the same.

I don’t know about other, but the first day is always the hardest. The day that you really really miss home so much and anywhere else make you feel so un-HOME.

And i cant stop but to imagine myself at home. Like at this hour, i would be at home watching starworld sambil minum kupi tenom fatt choi. And it only make this un-HOME feeling worse. And i sleep early that night.

And on Friday, we continue doing the preparation for the SBK(Sehari bersama Kolej), but i only went at night. They have a meeting around afternoon but i have this meeting with the Catholic student Group (CSG) for this upcoming Welcoming Junior Party (WJP) at Youth Prep Centre(YPC).

I didn’t really plan to go to the meeting since  i don’t think i went to any of the meetings before(which im truly sorry), did i?

 But since im one of the biro, well i REALLY should go. By the way im the Biro for the Sukan and Rekreasi. Oh ya, i didn’t know i was the ajk for the CSG until someonelse tells me and i thought they were joking.

Astaga astaga astaga.. x100

i didn’t really know why in the world  my name is in the Jawatankuasa for the CSG 2010-2011since i did not even went to their meeting when they were choosing the AJK!! And not to mention that i didn’t really go to their CSG gatherings since i was moved to KKIP. Come to think of it, i was kinda active in CSG during my first year..but on my second year, i kinda busy and i suddenly went to Life fire gathering, itu pun kadang kadang. Hihi. *okeh jangan bagi alasan bilang.

Well..its not that i don’t want to be in this Jawatankuasa(okay maybe a little reluctant), but because i feel that there are a lot of people that are better than me to carry this responsibility right? And i just don’t feel that i can give a hundred commitments being a final year student and living outside the campus.  *masih lagi memberi alasan ne.

But on a second thought, maybe im wrong.

Maybe im not seeing this the right way.

Maybe i should trust Him more. *iya!! Mimang pun bilang.

But well, i guess this is how God works. Maybe this is how God is calling me back. I guess, this is the time.

And it reminds me of the bible quotes from Philippians:

 “I am able to do all things through Him who give me strength.”

And i know i can do it, and i know that this is my time to serve people, and not just wait to be served.

And i know that all the busy and hectic life of student can’t stop me from serving, i just gotta figures out a way.

And i know that if i cant figure out a way, God will always make a way.

iyaa! sia yakin sejala!!

And im happy that i decided to go to the CSG meeting that Friday, i don’t know why i hesitate to go at the first place..because the people there are REALLY nice. And i know im not that close to the ajk in CSG and that what makes me hesitate, but still they are super nice. And i went anyway. Thank God for that.

So the meeting end around 4 pm and it was raining cat and dog. I waited a while before i went back to IP. And right after i reach my house, i wash my face and terus kuak dada di tilam ne.

So, i was really looking forward to this WJP! Can’t wait to see the juniors and welcoming them to make them feels like home!

 Gonna stay there at CSG centre on weekend and im gonna give my best.  Walaupun sia ajk sukan games seja..hihihi..=)

Im a Proud dusunese!! ^^

Okay, i dont know if such "Dusunese" word exist.  

Im so gonna take dusun as my audit subjct next semester. *harap2 la ckup jam kredit

Damn! im so jealous with pepel who can speak dusun. *diam diam sajala, pura2 paham

Okay actually im impressed. *yala, kamu hebatla momoros dusun

Ya i am. So tahniah la setinggi tinggi gunung kinabalu saya ucapkan to those who knows Dusun

Its my mother tongue! so i have to find a way to learn it.

Although im only half dusun and half Chinese, 

But still..not knowing my own mother tongue is kinda erm.. *bikin malu ba.!!

I’ve mastered Chinese*ok , not really a master but at least i know how to speak and write Chinese character

And i really like languages, i don’t know. I think its good to learn others languages.

So i’ve took Japanese as my foreign language subject due to my obsession toward mangas and anime in animax channel and lots of comic books in my house

And i also know Cantonese. I mean a bit. 

And i learn it since i was a child because i was one of those TV2-7pm-cantonese-drama-fan who grew up watching Cantonese dramas aired at 7 pm every weekdays at tv 2.

Ya, it was Thanks to TV2 Cantonese dramas that i was able to understand most of the Cantonese words.

Now who said TV isn’t beneficial?

I never intend to learn this language, but i guess that’s how you learned languages the easier way. =D

a) By watching a 1 hour Cantonese drama with your family and discussing who is the villain and how the stories end and adding your own imaginary twist end to the Cantonese drama. 

Well.. Its easier and more fun compare to..

b) sitting in the class for 3 hours that feels like 3 days listening to your lecturer talking about whatever that has nothing to do with the class as you keep checking yr watch  every 5 minutes and wonder "WHY the hell is the time moving so slowly!!?"

 

And then i spend the next 2 hours and 55 minutes daydreaming and thinking what movie am i going to watch tomorrow.  

Or i might just as well lukis peta Borneo di belakang kelas. *im good at this! ZZzzz

 

And i found myself blaming Japanese subject for causing my pointer to drop when foreign languages is SUPPOSED to help your PNGK.

My face when i saw my japanese's result: 

 

DUsh! Kanapa ba ni japanese saya dapat ***!!! Kurang asam. 


Bukan pula membantu sia ke arah usaha tangga kejayaan.  

Menolak saya dari tangga kejayaan ADALAaaaa!!

 

*Padahal sendiri tidur ah di class..tapi marah2 ni..wakakaaa..gomenasai sensei! 


Sabar...sabar sejala.

Okeh enough about my japanese thing. 


Suddenly i miss those time..  *teda kesinambungan butul oh crita sa ni kan..hahaha..paduliii laaaa


when we didn't have that fancy ASTRO channels yet 


when all we have are TV1 and TV2. 


when all of the family gather in front of the TV watching the same TV shows. *trus tida paya mo berebut channel sebab ada 2 channel ja kan.



But hey, it was good enough for us.




Well, TV 2 used to have good Cantonese drama.

So good that you wouldnt want to miss an episode. =D *yeah, im a cantonese drama freak!! 

Its not like im saying that nowadays their drama aren’t that good.

But well, maybe people change and shows change too.

Okay, back to my dusun thing.

Well, i’ve known a bit of dusun from here and there, from my mum when she was talking about us*the children, and also from the people around me.

You know, i should have took dusun instead of japanese.

But they wouldn’t allow it.

Why? Nokuro? Wei shen me? Tim kai? Nan deyo? KAnapa ba kanapa ba ko berubah. Nah tiba2..

Because they think it isn’t fair for a sino dusun to took Dusun class as they think i would have some basics to dusun already.

What the H. *sabar sejala ah sabariahh..

Well, nevermind.

And yes, i cant take mandarin as my foreign languages too because im half Chinese and hence its not fair for other.

-_-“

And later i found out that there was this few people that is not chinese who learned mandarin during their primary school is taking mandarin as their foreign language.

Talking about being FAIR here. 


Huh.sabar...sabar ko sabariah..

But nevermind, the world is a cruel place to begin with anyway.

Padahal dalam hati : Ya, menipu la kamu sanaa...nda berkat tu.

Now what should i take? They leave me with a few options.

Arab? I don’t think so.

Spanish? Erm, im not interested. And don’t think i have much use of it

Tamil? Erm..i don’t know.

French? Also not interested.

So i took Japanese.

I wouldn’t want to take something that im not intested in because if i did, im so gonna be bored to death.

*Okeh, tida la sampai mati.. pingsan sejala.

You see, i like japanese and i think it was fun.

But still, a 3 hour Japanese class and in the mid afternoon, and being in the class with strangers 

It really feels like a 3 days thing for me.

*and plus the girls in the class are so loud and a bit rude, talking in the class when the teacher is talking in front.


Seriously annoying. their voices are super mega double LOUD that you can hear it from the next class clearly.


Again sa terpaksa jadi Sabariah lagi..Ba, kalau sabar itu separuh dari iman.. Iman sa jadi separuh suda ni.

Kalau sia tidak sabar..lama suda sia teriak..Oit jan BISINGG ba!! orang mau tidur bainii!! wakaka..

And for the whole 3 hour class yang buringtahapdewa kekayaan.
 

I was looking at my watch every 5minutes.

Okay..maybe 3 minutes. Or less.

And i was so sleepy when the teacher get carried away talking about experiences and past thing which has nothing to do with the exercise book’s example that we were discussing.

Na, strategik butul ba tu masa, sudala tengahari buta, lepas lunch lagitu.. time2 org bertukar jadi ular sawa.

So if it took something im not interested in, it would really feels like 3 weeks. 


And talking bout 3 hour class, it reminds me of the  1^st semester English Class we are compulsory to take.

Oh man, don’t get me started on that. 

That 3 hour English class at night.

3 hours! 

And at night somemore. 

Adui ma.


Berat ati sa mo pigi, berat lagi langkah sa berjalan pigi kelas. Nasib berat badan saya tidak memberatkan lagi keadaan.

But thank God there was this cutie that was in the same class with me.  Wakakaaa..  

So 3 hours of English class wouldn’t be so boring then. *Thank  U God!

See? There was always this silver lining in every cloud.

Apparently, im in my effort to learn a bit of dusun from my mom and my friends and unfortunately tv isn’t much of help here since they don’t really air Dusun shows.

Okeh sebelum sa merapu rapu sini sambil jual ikan kerapu,


Sebelum ko jadi Sabariah membaca blog saya yang merapu rapu,


izinkan saya membuat kesimpulan.

jadi kesimpulan dia ialah :one day when i have kids, i would definitely teach them Dusun,  

Oh yes,  

im proud of dusun. =D

But still, im grateful with whatever i have. 

At least i know how to speak mandarin. =D





Okeh, sekian saja laporan dari sabariah dari TV1. Kembali ke sri pentas.

Sorry for making it harder for you.

 Sometimes, we hurts  people

Sometimes people make things harder for us

And sometimes, it is us who make things harder  for other.

And sometimes we did it unknowingly.

But still, knowingly or unknowingly,

it still hurts.

I suddenly feels like saying this out loud.

My friend,

If i hurt you in anyway,

Im sorry.

I dont know im making it harder for you..

So im writing this here in my blog,

since i cant say it directly to your face, i dont know. i just can't.

Because if i do, I AM making things harder than it supposed to be.

But i know you have a big heart,* i know you do.

So forgive me, my friend.

I cant give you what you want, maybe because you don’t need it.

Maybe you deserve better..

Yes, you do.

=)

Control your emotion, don't let iyour emotion control you

When dealing with difficult people who only knows how to piss us off, i often ask for strength to endure it and carry on, but sometimes..i really feel like asking for Strength to beat them to death. Thank God i can still keep my sanity.

S,L and M stands for?

Hye blogggie.

So, im at home.

They said time passes slowly when you do nothing.

But if all is do is nothing, how come I feel that time passes as fast as 3x10^8 m/s?

And next month im going back to Ums already.

So we were talking during dinner just now and its about Michael (my lil brother) who is going to buy us souvenir from his Seminar-Angkasawan-bla3 thing. And he is going to buy us t shirt, with zodiac sign on it.

Okey, I’ll spare the detail.

I ask my lil bro to bought me the smallest one and my dad said t-shirt wouldn’t look good in S size.

Well, its not like I’ll look good in a L size t-shirt either.

Ya..ya..

So i wanna ask here.

What do S,L and M stands for?

Small, Large and Medium?

No no no..salah sesalah salahnya..

Apparently for my dad, the sizes of S, M and L stand for something else.

Its not for small, medium or large.

According to my dad, (chin,2010) *nah,siap quote lagi ni.

S = Sempit

L = Longgar

and guess what M stands for?

Guess..

Guess la..

Im trying to make you think here..

Okayla..                                                     

I test my dad and asked him, “then what do M stands for?” *I ask because I thought he wouldn’t have a different meaning for the M.

Dengan selamba nya, lebih slumber dari lagu OAG dan dengan yakinnya, seyakin yakin boleh, he answered:

M = Muat.

-_-“

okeh, I didn’t see the M thing coming. Tahniah la sama beliau..tingu la sepa anak dia..wakaka

Now I know where do my loyar buruk gene came from. My dad.

And wait till you hear what my mum said when she found out that im taking marin science for my  degree.

‘Apa la ko mo kerja nanti? Cari ikan duyung?’

Me : …. ….. *anak panah menusuk di jantung

Okay. -_-‘ boleh ba kalau ko.

And my lil bro said : ‘Jurulatih dolphin. Pemberus gigi paus.’

Me : …. ada lagi? Polah manas.. *anak panah kedua macam  shinchan

Okay, ejek saja ba. ejek saja.  

See? So don’t be surprise that I have too much sense of humor and a bit sarcastic.

Well, bukan salah ibu mengandung.

jadi mo Kasi salah birth control?

Wakaka..

Anyway, I found out a new definition of S,L and M today. Thanks for the info la otosan.

I am a mariner.

Well..

At a second thought, those jobs they’ve mentioned seems to be fun.

A dolphin trainer? I’ll do that one day.

As long as I love my course, and as long as I have passion for marine, ill survive.

Somehow.

Yes I will. With God’s will.

Good day everyone. =D

A broken heart is like a broken glasses?

Ohaiyo minna san.

Okay, the title pretty much sums up my post today.

Its my semester break now, that’s why i have time to update my once-in-a-blue-moon blog.
I didn’t update it like everyday,  
okay im one of those lazy blogger and makes people wonder why the heck did I make a blog if I know I will be as lazy to update it.

Well, because I think that my blog is just one of those voiceless voice where I’ll only write about things that I don’t usually talk to people about. 

And that some things are best to be kept to yourself. *Trust me =D


So, in short.
I’ll update my blog only to share things that I think are worth to be shared to other.

No, im not trying to show off here in my blog talking big about how blessed my life is or trying to teach other of life principle or morals or ethic or whatsoever you call it.

Its because good things are meant to be shared.

Because you know what they said :

Sharing is caring. 

And it’s a wonderful feeling. =D


And I was the kind of person who think a lot. 

When I saw something or someone, even its just the smallest detail of it, I just can’t help but to think further and my imagination just took over me. *And sometimes it pisses people off, sorry  my friend. =D

Well, I like how the little things in life make you wonder, you know.


Things that we overlook, things that are considered blessing to other, thing we took for granted, little things that matter.
.
I love how when sometimes I look at something or something happens, it makes me realize. makes me think. Teach me something.

*okay aibeh boleh ko mula cerita suda bilang..berjela jela ah bilang. boleh buat buku suda ni.


So I was washing the dishes just now. .

And as I was arranging the plates, one of the bowl slipped from my hand and I was trying to catch it.


Using my leg.

...............

..................

Ya i used my leg.

-_-okay2.. i know what you gonna say to me.

Okay, good job aibeh. Ko ingat ko monyet sarkas ka bilang.!

I don’t know what the heck was I thinking, I guess its my reflect working there.

Maybe i thought that I can kick it and when it flew on the air in slow motion i'll catch it using my hand like The Matrix.

Or Like one of those movies of Bruce Lee. Sot. Mulau bilang.

Okay2. Its out of topic already.


So the bowl broke into pieces and thank God my mum is not one of the antique Chinese porcelain collector that collect expensive and irreplaceable antiques at homes.


*Well, its not like my family is rich enough to buy those things, and plus even if we are rich,

 WHO uses expensive antiques porcelain bowl to eat  at the first place anyway?

Thank God. Or i'll have to hide the evidence. 

 And thank God I was alone at home.

*If not, my sister will just make a fuss of it as if she never broke one. bla bla balaa~  

So I just look at the broken pieces of the bowl and I remember one quote I’ve heard before.

Broken hearts are like broken glasses. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

So, as I was picking those broken pieces I ask: “If I just leave those broken glasses there, won’t it hurt somebody else?


And well I don’t really agree on this quote. No offence. Everyone have a piece of their mind.

Here's what i think.

You gotta fix what you broke. Even if its gonna hurt you.

Because if you don’ pick the broken glasses, someone else will be hurt. 

And it might be the people who love you, and who care about you, who want you to be happy.


And its better to hurt yourself than to carry the guilt of hurting other for not fixing things when you still have the chance. Well, that’s what I think.

And if you are afraid to be hurt, then you’ll ever be in love.

Because with love comes pain.

But with pain come the Strength.

Right?

No?

*Fair enough. Everyone have their own view. And this is mine. =D


I do believe that pain makes you stronger. And those obstacles in life are what will sandpaper you, and it might hurt for a temporary period, but when you manage to overcme it, you are stronger than ever.


You know.. I always think that you should be careful what you ask for. 

When you ask God to make you stronger, don’t expect strength will come easily.


God will give you obstacles to overcome, but remember Lord will never give you burden you cannot carry.


Lord never promises you a life full of roses, but He promises that when the time you are put to test, He will provide you the strength to overcome it.

So, the conclusion is that I feel that when you have a broken heart, don’t just leave it.

Its partly true that broken heart are like broken glasses, its better to leave them than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.


But well, if you just leave those broken glasses like that, you are not the only one hurting, you’ll hurt others who step on it.

You see, when you have a broken heart, you are not the only one who is hurt.  

 

Other who loves you, who care about you, will hurt as well. 
Okay. Maybe not as much as you do. But still they do feel the pain as well.


So if you just leave your broken heart like that afraid of hurting yourself more by fixing it, you are just hurting  others as well and most importantly your spiritual self, and you will need one of those inner healing.

Because a doctor can’t heal a broken heart, only God can.

Don’t be afraid to get hurt in the process of fxing the broken glass, because with pain comes the Strength.

And pain is a part of the learning process in our life.

Isn't it? No pain no gain. That's what they said.=D

Ya, i can't agree more a heart is like a glass.

So, if you are break a glass, pick up the pieces! 

In the end, some one will have to pick it and get hurt. 

And that 'someone' is you.

Because its your heart.


Don't leave it, deal with it.

Because we are not small kids anymore.


We can't just leave things and hope that other will take care of you and your problem.

So,

And if you have a broken heart, Fix it.

If you can't, then leave it to God.

Let God fix it for you, but you gotta let Him have the pieces.

Simple enough. =D

But well, fair enough, everyone have their own view. Right?

Okay, enough of my bla bla blaa~

Good day everyone. =D