Im a Proud dusunese!! ^^

Okay, i dont know if such "Dusunese" word exist.  

Im so gonna take dusun as my audit subjct next semester. *harap2 la ckup jam kredit

Damn! im so jealous with pepel who can speak dusun. *diam diam sajala, pura2 paham

Okay actually im impressed. *yala, kamu hebatla momoros dusun

Ya i am. So tahniah la setinggi tinggi gunung kinabalu saya ucapkan to those who knows Dusun

Its my mother tongue! so i have to find a way to learn it.

Although im only half dusun and half Chinese, 

But still..not knowing my own mother tongue is kinda erm.. *bikin malu ba.!!

I’ve mastered Chinese*ok , not really a master but at least i know how to speak and write Chinese character

And i really like languages, i don’t know. I think its good to learn others languages.

So i’ve took Japanese as my foreign language subject due to my obsession toward mangas and anime in animax channel and lots of comic books in my house

And i also know Cantonese. I mean a bit. 

And i learn it since i was a child because i was one of those TV2-7pm-cantonese-drama-fan who grew up watching Cantonese dramas aired at 7 pm every weekdays at tv 2.

Ya, it was Thanks to TV2 Cantonese dramas that i was able to understand most of the Cantonese words.

Now who said TV isn’t beneficial?

I never intend to learn this language, but i guess that’s how you learned languages the easier way. =D

a) By watching a 1 hour Cantonese drama with your family and discussing who is the villain and how the stories end and adding your own imaginary twist end to the Cantonese drama. 

Well.. Its easier and more fun compare to..

b) sitting in the class for 3 hours that feels like 3 days listening to your lecturer talking about whatever that has nothing to do with the class as you keep checking yr watch  every 5 minutes and wonder "WHY the hell is the time moving so slowly!!?"

 

And then i spend the next 2 hours and 55 minutes daydreaming and thinking what movie am i going to watch tomorrow.  

Or i might just as well lukis peta Borneo di belakang kelas. *im good at this! ZZzzz

 

And i found myself blaming Japanese subject for causing my pointer to drop when foreign languages is SUPPOSED to help your PNGK.

My face when i saw my japanese's result: 

 

DUsh! Kanapa ba ni japanese saya dapat ***!!! Kurang asam. 


Bukan pula membantu sia ke arah usaha tangga kejayaan.  

Menolak saya dari tangga kejayaan ADALAaaaa!!

 

*Padahal sendiri tidur ah di class..tapi marah2 ni..wakakaaa..gomenasai sensei! 


Sabar...sabar sejala.

Okeh enough about my japanese thing. 


Suddenly i miss those time..  *teda kesinambungan butul oh crita sa ni kan..hahaha..paduliii laaaa


when we didn't have that fancy ASTRO channels yet 


when all we have are TV1 and TV2. 


when all of the family gather in front of the TV watching the same TV shows. *trus tida paya mo berebut channel sebab ada 2 channel ja kan.



But hey, it was good enough for us.




Well, TV 2 used to have good Cantonese drama.

So good that you wouldnt want to miss an episode. =D *yeah, im a cantonese drama freak!! 

Its not like im saying that nowadays their drama aren’t that good.

But well, maybe people change and shows change too.

Okay, back to my dusun thing.

Well, i’ve known a bit of dusun from here and there, from my mum when she was talking about us*the children, and also from the people around me.

You know, i should have took dusun instead of japanese.

But they wouldn’t allow it.

Why? Nokuro? Wei shen me? Tim kai? Nan deyo? KAnapa ba kanapa ba ko berubah. Nah tiba2..

Because they think it isn’t fair for a sino dusun to took Dusun class as they think i would have some basics to dusun already.

What the H. *sabar sejala ah sabariahh..

Well, nevermind.

And yes, i cant take mandarin as my foreign languages too because im half Chinese and hence its not fair for other.

-_-“

And later i found out that there was this few people that is not chinese who learned mandarin during their primary school is taking mandarin as their foreign language.

Talking about being FAIR here. 


Huh.sabar...sabar ko sabariah..

But nevermind, the world is a cruel place to begin with anyway.

Padahal dalam hati : Ya, menipu la kamu sanaa...nda berkat tu.

Now what should i take? They leave me with a few options.

Arab? I don’t think so.

Spanish? Erm, im not interested. And don’t think i have much use of it

Tamil? Erm..i don’t know.

French? Also not interested.

So i took Japanese.

I wouldn’t want to take something that im not intested in because if i did, im so gonna be bored to death.

*Okeh, tida la sampai mati.. pingsan sejala.

You see, i like japanese and i think it was fun.

But still, a 3 hour Japanese class and in the mid afternoon, and being in the class with strangers 

It really feels like a 3 days thing for me.

*and plus the girls in the class are so loud and a bit rude, talking in the class when the teacher is talking in front.


Seriously annoying. their voices are super mega double LOUD that you can hear it from the next class clearly.


Again sa terpaksa jadi Sabariah lagi..Ba, kalau sabar itu separuh dari iman.. Iman sa jadi separuh suda ni.

Kalau sia tidak sabar..lama suda sia teriak..Oit jan BISINGG ba!! orang mau tidur bainii!! wakaka..

And for the whole 3 hour class yang buringtahapdewa kekayaan.
 

I was looking at my watch every 5minutes.

Okay..maybe 3 minutes. Or less.

And i was so sleepy when the teacher get carried away talking about experiences and past thing which has nothing to do with the exercise book’s example that we were discussing.

Na, strategik butul ba tu masa, sudala tengahari buta, lepas lunch lagitu.. time2 org bertukar jadi ular sawa.

So if it took something im not interested in, it would really feels like 3 weeks. 


And talking bout 3 hour class, it reminds me of the  1^st semester English Class we are compulsory to take.

Oh man, don’t get me started on that. 

That 3 hour English class at night.

3 hours! 

And at night somemore. 

Adui ma.


Berat ati sa mo pigi, berat lagi langkah sa berjalan pigi kelas. Nasib berat badan saya tidak memberatkan lagi keadaan.

But thank God there was this cutie that was in the same class with me.  Wakakaaa..  

So 3 hours of English class wouldn’t be so boring then. *Thank  U God!

See? There was always this silver lining in every cloud.

Apparently, im in my effort to learn a bit of dusun from my mom and my friends and unfortunately tv isn’t much of help here since they don’t really air Dusun shows.

Okeh sebelum sa merapu rapu sini sambil jual ikan kerapu,


Sebelum ko jadi Sabariah membaca blog saya yang merapu rapu,


izinkan saya membuat kesimpulan.

jadi kesimpulan dia ialah :one day when i have kids, i would definitely teach them Dusun,  

Oh yes,  

im proud of dusun. =D

But still, im grateful with whatever i have. 

At least i know how to speak mandarin. =D





Okeh, sekian saja laporan dari sabariah dari TV1. Kembali ke sri pentas.

Sorry for making it harder for you.

 Sometimes, we hurts  people

Sometimes people make things harder for us

And sometimes, it is us who make things harder  for other.

And sometimes we did it unknowingly.

But still, knowingly or unknowingly,

it still hurts.

I suddenly feels like saying this out loud.

My friend,

If i hurt you in anyway,

Im sorry.

I dont know im making it harder for you..

So im writing this here in my blog,

since i cant say it directly to your face, i dont know. i just can't.

Because if i do, I AM making things harder than it supposed to be.

But i know you have a big heart,* i know you do.

So forgive me, my friend.

I cant give you what you want, maybe because you don’t need it.

Maybe you deserve better..

Yes, you do.

=)

Control your emotion, don't let iyour emotion control you

When dealing with difficult people who only knows how to piss us off, i often ask for strength to endure it and carry on, but sometimes..i really feel like asking for Strength to beat them to death. Thank God i can still keep my sanity.

S,L and M stands for?

Hye blogggie.

So, im at home.

They said time passes slowly when you do nothing.

But if all is do is nothing, how come I feel that time passes as fast as 3x10^8 m/s?

And next month im going back to Ums already.

So we were talking during dinner just now and its about Michael (my lil brother) who is going to buy us souvenir from his Seminar-Angkasawan-bla3 thing. And he is going to buy us t shirt, with zodiac sign on it.

Okey, I’ll spare the detail.

I ask my lil bro to bought me the smallest one and my dad said t-shirt wouldn’t look good in S size.

Well, its not like I’ll look good in a L size t-shirt either.

Ya..ya..

So i wanna ask here.

What do S,L and M stands for?

Small, Large and Medium?

No no no..salah sesalah salahnya..

Apparently for my dad, the sizes of S, M and L stand for something else.

Its not for small, medium or large.

According to my dad, (chin,2010) *nah,siap quote lagi ni.

S = Sempit

L = Longgar

and guess what M stands for?

Guess..

Guess la..

Im trying to make you think here..

Okayla..                                                     

I test my dad and asked him, “then what do M stands for?” *I ask because I thought he wouldn’t have a different meaning for the M.

Dengan selamba nya, lebih slumber dari lagu OAG dan dengan yakinnya, seyakin yakin boleh, he answered:

M = Muat.

-_-“

okeh, I didn’t see the M thing coming. Tahniah la sama beliau..tingu la sepa anak dia..wakaka

Now I know where do my loyar buruk gene came from. My dad.

And wait till you hear what my mum said when she found out that im taking marin science for my  degree.

‘Apa la ko mo kerja nanti? Cari ikan duyung?’

Me : …. ….. *anak panah menusuk di jantung

Okay. -_-‘ boleh ba kalau ko.

And my lil bro said : ‘Jurulatih dolphin. Pemberus gigi paus.’

Me : …. ada lagi? Polah manas.. *anak panah kedua macam  shinchan

Okay, ejek saja ba. ejek saja.  

See? So don’t be surprise that I have too much sense of humor and a bit sarcastic.

Well, bukan salah ibu mengandung.

jadi mo Kasi salah birth control?

Wakaka..

Anyway, I found out a new definition of S,L and M today. Thanks for the info la otosan.

I am a mariner.

Well..

At a second thought, those jobs they’ve mentioned seems to be fun.

A dolphin trainer? I’ll do that one day.

As long as I love my course, and as long as I have passion for marine, ill survive.

Somehow.

Yes I will. With God’s will.

Good day everyone. =D

A broken heart is like a broken glasses?

Ohaiyo minna san.

Okay, the title pretty much sums up my post today.

Its my semester break now, that’s why i have time to update my once-in-a-blue-moon blog.
I didn’t update it like everyday,  
okay im one of those lazy blogger and makes people wonder why the heck did I make a blog if I know I will be as lazy to update it.

Well, because I think that my blog is just one of those voiceless voice where I’ll only write about things that I don’t usually talk to people about. 

And that some things are best to be kept to yourself. *Trust me =D


So, in short.
I’ll update my blog only to share things that I think are worth to be shared to other.

No, im not trying to show off here in my blog talking big about how blessed my life is or trying to teach other of life principle or morals or ethic or whatsoever you call it.

Its because good things are meant to be shared.

Because you know what they said :

Sharing is caring. 

And it’s a wonderful feeling. =D


And I was the kind of person who think a lot. 

When I saw something or someone, even its just the smallest detail of it, I just can’t help but to think further and my imagination just took over me. *And sometimes it pisses people off, sorry  my friend. =D

Well, I like how the little things in life make you wonder, you know.


Things that we overlook, things that are considered blessing to other, thing we took for granted, little things that matter.
.
I love how when sometimes I look at something or something happens, it makes me realize. makes me think. Teach me something.

*okay aibeh boleh ko mula cerita suda bilang..berjela jela ah bilang. boleh buat buku suda ni.


So I was washing the dishes just now. .

And as I was arranging the plates, one of the bowl slipped from my hand and I was trying to catch it.


Using my leg.

...............

..................

Ya i used my leg.

-_-okay2.. i know what you gonna say to me.

Okay, good job aibeh. Ko ingat ko monyet sarkas ka bilang.!

I don’t know what the heck was I thinking, I guess its my reflect working there.

Maybe i thought that I can kick it and when it flew on the air in slow motion i'll catch it using my hand like The Matrix.

Or Like one of those movies of Bruce Lee. Sot. Mulau bilang.

Okay2. Its out of topic already.


So the bowl broke into pieces and thank God my mum is not one of the antique Chinese porcelain collector that collect expensive and irreplaceable antiques at homes.


*Well, its not like my family is rich enough to buy those things, and plus even if we are rich,

 WHO uses expensive antiques porcelain bowl to eat  at the first place anyway?

Thank God. Or i'll have to hide the evidence. 

 And thank God I was alone at home.

*If not, my sister will just make a fuss of it as if she never broke one. bla bla balaa~  

So I just look at the broken pieces of the bowl and I remember one quote I’ve heard before.

Broken hearts are like broken glasses. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

So, as I was picking those broken pieces I ask: “If I just leave those broken glasses there, won’t it hurt somebody else?


And well I don’t really agree on this quote. No offence. Everyone have a piece of their mind.

Here's what i think.

You gotta fix what you broke. Even if its gonna hurt you.

Because if you don’ pick the broken glasses, someone else will be hurt. 

And it might be the people who love you, and who care about you, who want you to be happy.


And its better to hurt yourself than to carry the guilt of hurting other for not fixing things when you still have the chance. Well, that’s what I think.

And if you are afraid to be hurt, then you’ll ever be in love.

Because with love comes pain.

But with pain come the Strength.

Right?

No?

*Fair enough. Everyone have their own view. And this is mine. =D


I do believe that pain makes you stronger. And those obstacles in life are what will sandpaper you, and it might hurt for a temporary period, but when you manage to overcme it, you are stronger than ever.


You know.. I always think that you should be careful what you ask for. 

When you ask God to make you stronger, don’t expect strength will come easily.


God will give you obstacles to overcome, but remember Lord will never give you burden you cannot carry.


Lord never promises you a life full of roses, but He promises that when the time you are put to test, He will provide you the strength to overcome it.

So, the conclusion is that I feel that when you have a broken heart, don’t just leave it.

Its partly true that broken heart are like broken glasses, its better to leave them than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.


But well, if you just leave those broken glasses like that, you are not the only one hurting, you’ll hurt others who step on it.

You see, when you have a broken heart, you are not the only one who is hurt.  

 

Other who loves you, who care about you, will hurt as well. 
Okay. Maybe not as much as you do. But still they do feel the pain as well.


So if you just leave your broken heart like that afraid of hurting yourself more by fixing it, you are just hurting  others as well and most importantly your spiritual self, and you will need one of those inner healing.

Because a doctor can’t heal a broken heart, only God can.

Don’t be afraid to get hurt in the process of fxing the broken glass, because with pain comes the Strength.

And pain is a part of the learning process in our life.

Isn't it? No pain no gain. That's what they said.=D

Ya, i can't agree more a heart is like a glass.

So, if you are break a glass, pick up the pieces! 

In the end, some one will have to pick it and get hurt. 

And that 'someone' is you.

Because its your heart.


Don't leave it, deal with it.

Because we are not small kids anymore.


We can't just leave things and hope that other will take care of you and your problem.

So,

And if you have a broken heart, Fix it.

If you can't, then leave it to God.

Let God fix it for you, but you gotta let Him have the pieces.

Simple enough. =D

But well, fair enough, everyone have their own view. Right?

Okay, enough of my bla bla blaa~

Good day everyone. =D

不是你的就别再勉强

Ya, suddenly i miss writing in chinese character.

I almost forgot the things is learned back then, during my primary years.

Things has been normal lately. 

And its kinda boring.

So, a voice, a small voice is telling me, *though i do not know whose voice it is

'aibeh, its ok to let go. Its ok. 

Just let it be. 

God has greater plan for you, and you might not see it now, but you will. One day, you will see it.'

Sometimes im so stubborn, i know that it can be, but still its hard for me to give up.

But well, this is life.

It aint a bed of roses.

If it is, you won't become stronger.

Falling for a few times makes you stronger.

If you never fall, you will be so weak.

And i heard this quote somewhere:

it s not about how many times you fall, its about how many time you stand up again after you fall.

So even if I fall a thousand time, it doesn’t matter, coz I know that I’ll stand up again and if I don’t, God will raise me up.

Keh, cukup la sa merapu di sini. gotta get back to my studying session~ waa~

Another 1 year. 1 year, 2 semester, 12 months, 365 days.

sigh~
a lot of people trying to piss me off lately.
my patience is really wearing thin, going way off my limits.
Thank God im not the person i used to be,
the 'me' back then would not have as much patience as i do now.
I would just piss of and declare a silent war for whole month. Ya whole month. U hear me right.

And lately, people are triggering the old 'me', and most of the time, i really feel like snapping the people who  is trying to bring me down and ignore them.
As if its worth my time being angry at those people.
Sigh~
Life has been hard on me lately.
If u are not gonna make me happy,
pleasee..
at least dont piss me.

And i come across this small voice inside me. It struck me right in my head.
And i recall that i did pray that i wish i can be a good friend to the people around me.
And so, thats what God is making me.
A Good friend.
And God is doing that by giving me difficult friends.
And yes, be careful what u ask for.
And well, it all make sense now.
And if this is how im gonna be a good friens, so be it.
All i need is to pray that ill have the strong will and through God's grace ill be able to be a good friend.
Ya, i know im not pretty much the best-est friend u ever had, but still im one of your friend.
God bless. ~_~