Its been a while since i'm this PISSED OFF

It's been a long while since i really been this pissed off.
I considered myself to be quite a patient person.


Sia rasa la..Mungkin sia perasan, tapi sia agak yakin di situ bahawa sia ialah seorang penyabar dan yakni lebih bersabar dari sabariah dan sabruddin..

Long time ago since i can remember.

Paling last sia MARADANG yang macam mau kasi tabalik mija pun ada ialah....time sia pigi kadai mo order minuman, sia order jus avocado tapi tiada, trus sia order jus tembikai pun tiada juga, terus dengan yakinnya sia order ice lemon tea pun teda lemon diabilang.
Trus macam sia rasa sia dalam rancangan 'Just For Fun' yang dadi sia selalu tingu punya rancangan yang kasi buduh urang ni yang ada hidden kamera.
Last-last sia order teh tarik ping kali tuh. Nasib baik ADA.

Lucu punya kadai.. miahaha. apa seja yang sia mo order, memang teda kali. Fuh~


So, here goes the story.

I went to KK with my parent today. And to make it to the point, we drop by at the fish market there.
The fish market that is next to the..erm. to the sea? *Its not important anyway.

Eeee itu pasar ikan sanaa bah. yang di belakang pasar pilipin KK. 


Then my dad and mum jalan-jalan pergi membeli belah di pasar ikan itu, maka saya pun membuntuti mereka dan seperti biasa, secara automatiknya dan demokratiknya tugas saya ialah tukang pigang barang.


As my dad and mum wander around the fish market, they bought fishes, crabs, mussels, and squids.

Which all of these end up at my hand. 

'Kamu mau kasi makan satu kampung ka ni, dady..?'

Sia rasa kalau buli, memang mo kasih panuh tuh belakang hilux dengan seafood2 sekalian.

Ini baru pasar ikan ni, ugou. Belum lagi masuk pasar yang di dalam. 
"Patutlah sia kana suruh ikut pigi kk.." sia berbisik dalam hati nurani sia.


Sia redha jugala sebab: 
1. Sebab kami teda amah suda bah. Kalau suda basar tu anak2 semua, anak2 la otomatik jadi amah kali kan. JK.
2. Sebab sia juga yang makan tu makanan nanti. 


Then my dad ask me to wait for the fish to be gutted as he went to buy more seafood. I think.

The guy at the stall : Bapa ko ka tuh?
(sia nda mau jawab ba tuh tapi nasib sia nda sumbung)
Me : Eyaa.
The guy : Oh bapa ko.. Mentua sia lai tuh kan? Hiihi..
Me : Mmmbah.. (sia mau katawa juga dengan gurauan dia tapi sia pura-pura tersenyum mesra seja..)

Reaksi sia

I'm okay with people being playful like that. They are just being super unnecessarily friendly.
And i'm also okay with the 'psstt..psst..' and 'peewit~' and whatsoever sound you can imagine when people try to disturb you.
Keeping my cool, i ignore all the psst and phewit and walk behind my dad.

Bah perkara besa bah tuh. 
Ko tau tau la kalau di pasar ikan ni, asal ada sumandak berjalan limpas mo mambali ikan basung pun tatap kana kacau. Sia rasa bukan di sini sejala, memang seluruh dunia pun begitu juga lumrah dia.
Tapi sia tidak marah jugala. Sebab mungkin kalau sia lalaki pun sia pun nakal juga mau mengacau orang. Buring bah tuh jual ikan. Takkan dia mau siul tuh ikan kan. Sia paham juga gima. Fuh~

Being disturbed like that is kinda common here and i adapted to be immune to those 'psst' and ''peewit~' and 'fitfeew~'
Its no big deal as long as they don't try more than that or try to touched me.

So i walked behind my dad carrying so many delicious seafood with smiley face like this:

Except that i don't dye my hair. And i don't wear ribbons on my hair. T.T

Suddenly there is this one guy walking toward me.
And it was as if that guy was trying to purposely bump into me. As if he's trying to do something funny to me.

But with my quick ninja reflexes, i dodged him.
I thought he accidentally did that, so i look back wanting to smile politely at him and i was expecting him to apologize or look sorry..at least.

And he was smiling disgustingly at me.
Something similar to this:

 

As he walk away,he keep looking at me with those eyes with that evil smile on his face.

And i'm 101% sure that he PURPOSELY try to bump into me.


And i feel so insulted. Even though i managed to dodged him and he failed to do whatever stupid things he's attempting to do.

That's a harassment dude, damn it! 
And i stop. I was too pissed off and try to control my anger.

I didn't have my picture taken at that exact time so this is the closest thing to imagine how i look:

Well, without the F word. And sangat marah sampai tuh ribbon di rambut pun tepelanting.

I look at that guy who has walk further away but still smiling disgustingly at me.
I close my eyes and breathe in...Fuh~

I was wearing my gray contact lense . And if i glare longer,i imagine myself turning into vampire like the one from the Underworld movie.


How i imagine i glare with my gray contact lense:

How i really glare at that guy:

Times this by 10 times and that's how i glare at him. Damn.

I glare at him with my most intense glare. (Refer pic above)


I wanted to shout at him but he was already far away from me. And my dad was out of sight.

Thank God he didn't managed to touch me. So i just keep my calm and search for my dad who apparently walk so quickly and is already at the parking lot when i was busy staring intensely at that damn pervert guy.

Damn it.

You yjmhfhftgbdrfveszfgbcdgvbnzx, damn pervert guy.
If i did not dodged just now and you touched me, we would end up in a police station.


Still holding the fishes, crabs, squids, and mussels on my hand, I try to control my anger and asking God for more patience. And forgiveness so that i can forgive that guy.

No point in holding on to this kind of anger with this kind of guy anyway.
I'm not letting some random guy ruining my whole day.

So,damn pervert guy.
If there's a next time, i'll see you in the police station.
With my future lawyer. *Which doesn't exist. Yet.

And when i was back at home, the anger pretty much is gone. And my mood get better when i listen to this 'It will rain' cover by Joseph Vincent. =)
Check out his video. I love all his covers!

I can't stop humming this song - It Will Rain. It keeps playing in my head.

P.s : Even though i rewrite the event in a more sense of humour way. I was really pissed off at that moment.
Well, i will be more careful next time. Dear you, please be careful too. =)

Vain-mode in the car

God be with you too,
aibeh

It's February

Hi February!

I miss the ocean.

To be exact, i miss Mabul.

The simple livelihood, with no vehicle and kids that greet you everytime you pass by. Sweet kan the kids? <3 (kids here at my place don't really greet strangers..)

Kids that stay happy..all the time. =)

20 cent each.  (at first i didn't know what are these..)

The ocean breeze and the wavy sea.

The blue sky with its lovely cloud.

Seaventure Platform Spotted : Gonna dive there someday!

Common sight in Mabul

Taken at Kulapuan Island. (One Day on Earth Programme)

And my favourite time is at night.
The starry starry night, the moon with its 'halo'.
(Unfortunately, i didn't took pictures of Mabul at night because i'm too busy with another night activity..mihihi)


I really love being in an island.
I can gaze at the sky and ocean all day.

So yeah..
One of my 2012 resolution : Diving at Sipadan this year on my birthday! *Finger crossed*
I went there once for a Turtle Study, but only have the chance to snorkel. Next time, i'll definitely DIVE.

Super bumpy ride to Sipadan, but it's worth every single bump!  

P.s : 

Well.
The closest thing to ocean is a swimming pool(which is 1 km walking distance from my house.)

The truth has set me free

Today, the Truth has set me free.
And i thank the Lord, from the bottom of my heart.  (if my heart have bottom)

Yes the truth hurts, but it is also the truth that set us FREE.


P.s : I found out another different type of truth when i'm facebooking...coincidentally.
This is crazy.  Oh God, why?
I mean..of all the people, why must it be that person?
My sixth sense is starting to freak me out. =O



Nah..maybe i should just ignored it.


May you too will found the Truth.
Blessed day people! =)

My Awesome Planner

13 November 2011

Today i realized that :

1. No matter how FAR i go, I’ll never be far enough for God to reach me.
2. And when in time of need, and when i’m alone, God will send me comfort, which come in the form of wingless angels.
3. Not every angel has a wing. (And not everything that have wing is an angel.)

And today i’m awed by God’s grace. Again.

You know, i consider myself as a calm person. I don’t freak out easily.

Okay, maybe i do. A bit. I might appear calm on the outside, but inside i am freaking out.

Perhaps i don’t really freak out because i always have this faith that,

If God brings me to it,

God will bring me through it.

Here goes.

Just in case you did not know, here, the mass started in the evening, which is 5 pm.

And it’s the only mass here.

The first week i was here, i totally am not familiar with this place.

 i wonder how am i going to church, where is the church, who am i going with and etc.

And after i fail to figure out the answers to my question, i started to have doubt and i’m thinking of not going to church on Sunday.

Which depressed me. A lot. 

But then, knowing that i’m at my wit’s end, God send me a wingless angel.

Not every angel have wings, and not everything that have wings is an angel.

I found out that one of my housemate who apparently is also my office-mate is a Catolic.

*a.k.a Wingless angel number 1.

Actually she hasn’t been baptized, but she always go to this class where you have to attend this class before being baptized. I’ll spare you the detail.

So she goes to church too. 

And i am more than grateful to follow her every Sunday.

To be exact, for two weeks.

And i only found out that last week she will be transferred to another place.

T.T

Puff. There goes my wingless angel  1. 

Flying to another new place for people that are more in need. I guess.

And well, i’m gonna miss her. Though i just met her, i really like her.

May God bless her, no matter where she is now.  =)

And so, to be frank i am disappointed.

But still,

Thank you God, for this wingless angel, even for a very short time.

At least now i know the road to the church.

So i guess it’s up to me now. 

So today in the morning i wake up and determined to go to church. 

Alone.

I still haven’t figure out how to go to the church.

You see, in case you didn’t know, there’s no taxi here.

I’ve never missed taking taxi so much. Until i’m here. T.T

Here, there’s something similar to taxi, but only its kinda illegal. Not really illegal.

Hmm. They called it as ‘pirate car’ here. To be exact, ‘prebet’.

Ya kurita yang ada pirate di dalam. Tidak ba!!  Well, whatever.

The downside of this pirate car is that your safety is not guaranteed.

But the good side is that it’s cheap. Way cheaper.

And its not like i have a choice here, so here’s my brilliant plan:

How i’m going to the church Brilliant Plan part 1:

 Go to town with a pirate car, and walk to the church.

How in the world am i going back home Brilliant Plan part 2: 

Called this pirate car to the church to fetch me. (which i’m not sure if the driver would know the location of the church)

Another problem is that the church is kinda far from town. Not somewhere you can walk to.

Not much of a plan huh?

I thought so.

So going to the church is not a problem, going back home is.

Just in case the pirate car(which i have his contact number) did not answer his phone, 

or is not available,

here’s the brilliant backup plan:

Call my another housemate to fetch me home.

But well, this is the last thing i have in mind do coz i malas bah mo kasi susah orang.

Plus, it’s a company’s car.

I’d rather take the pirate car.

So i took the pirate car to the town, and i walk to the church not knowing exactly where it is.

I ask around, and tengtedeng......

i reached the Anglican church. 

I was like, em okay. Fine. Don’t give up. Macam sia mau ketawa pun ada.Tapi sia pura-pura tabah sejala.

I almost give up after walking for half and hour.

I passed by this small shop just at the side of the road, and i think the pakcik recognize for passing to and fro his shop for like twice, and he start asking me where in the world am i heading to.

I wonder is it that obvious that i’m lost? Maybe the look in my face gave it away. T.T

The pakcik was so kind and he offered to help me, he stop the passing car, which i guess is another pirate car. But he said i need to pay RM1 for the fare though.

You know, based on my another not-so-statistical observation:

 88% of the car here is a pirate car. 

So yeah, no worries. Hakuna matata.

But the car he stopped is the 12% not-pirate-car.

So the pakcik ask his friend, who were hanging out at his shop to send me.

A random guy.

I was like...Okay. It’s too late to apologize...ivy. 

Suprise  1, The friend i said is not local (i guess), he’s a Benggali. 

No offence, the guy is kinda good looking. Just that i’m not sure he know the place.

*Wingless angel no 2

Suprise 2, The guy ride a motorcycle. (Not much of a suprise, but i was expecting a car.)

Not like i have a choice.

So i just go with the plan. 

Oh. Did i mention that i did not have a helmet?

Here come Surprise number 3,

As if the pakcik can read minds, or maybe its obvious that i'm thinking about me not having a helmet.

The pakcik said to the Benggali guy :
No worries, there’s no police here. If there were, just said that i ask you to do so.

I manage to hold my laughter though. Laugh~

Note to myself : Maybe i should bring my own helmet next week.

So, i ride a motor to the church today. The Benggali guy was so nice, he refuse to take my money.

So i gratefully go to the mass. 

So part 1 is done. Fuh~

And as i wait for the mass to start, i sit at the outside of the church.

Reconsidering my Part 2 of How in the world am i going back home plan.

Whether i’m calling the pirate car, or call my housemate to fetch me. Or to walk back home.

Option 3 is kinda impossible. It’s very far. And dark.

And that’s when God’s Awesome plan comes to me.

I thought i have a better plan since i did have a backup plan.

 You know...

The calling-my-housemate-using-company-car-to-fetch-me plan.

But i was wrong.

God’s plan is always better. 

And i’ve forgotten that.

So..

God’s-Awesome-Plan comes in the form of another wingless angel.

*Here come the wingless angel no 3.

A wingless angel with a black shiny car. (seriously)

I know i’m making this a bit melodramatic.  T.T

And i saw this guy, who look so familiar.

He was my schoolmate. Which i haven’t seen since ages ago.

He was a friend back in my hometown.

I mean the kinda friend that you recognize the face but not the name or anything else.

The kinda friend that you never really talk to.

Okay, how is that suppose to sound like a friend?

 You know. That kind of friend. You know..

So we talk and begin the hey-i-know-you conversation.

And as i talk to him i don’t know why am i so sure that this is the God’s-Awesome-Plan that was prepared for me. (I did not ask for his favour to send me back home though.)

I don’t know what make me so sure.. I just know. 

My instinct is pretty accurate.

But still, i don’t want to put so much hope in it because i just met him, and this is the first time i actually talk to him.

So after the mass finish, i waited outside the church.

I’m thinking whether to call the pirate car and wonder if he knows the route to the church.

And to be brutal honest, there was this small hope that the schoolmate guy i met just now will offer to send me back.

Eeee lucu oh saya. Parasan ni mo kena antar balik rumah.

Because it’s obvious that he want to help me, i mean to send me back home, even though he did not said it.

But maybe he’s afraid i will rejected his help, seeing that we just met and rarely know each other.

Then i think he waited for me outside the church and i don’t want to seem like i’m depending on him so i don’t really look for him.

Punya minta puji oh kan. Haha. Ego oh ko ivy.. Hahaa tidak baaa, sa tia mau kasi susah orang baa~

But at last, he ask me the million dollar question:

How am i going back home?

That exact moment, my How in the world am i going back home Brilliant Plan part 2 is instantly replaced by God’s Awesome Plan.

So to end my story, i followed him back home. And if you can see me that moment, i'm glowing with happiness and joy. Mihihihi. 

*Erm..kenapa sia yakin btul ni ikut strangers balik rumah..Herm..tiataula.. sia mmang yakin selama sia hidup~

He offered to send me back home and that’s pretty much the sums of my day.

I was so touched and in awed with God’s Awesome Plan.

Thank you Father God. I’m always in awed by Your plan!Though i find it all kinda funny.

And today i learned that no matter how many backup brilliant plans i thought i have, God’s plan is always better. 

God’s grace is enough. Always do, and always will be.

May you too be blessed with God’s grace.

P.s: Even though i tell this in a funny way, i did feel afraid that i might come home safely. 
But i know, God will provide. And God is definitely my awesome planner. Thank God. =)

Beyond blessed,

aibeh

Cloudy day

It's been cloudy these few days.
The weather.
I love it.
It's not sunny and it's a Perfect weather for a journey to the Dreamland.

Kenapa ba kalau saya bercakap mesti ada maksud tersirat ni.
Hurm. Saya mememang suka tapuk makna sebenar hoping that someone will understand it. 
Stewwpid kan. Ya i know. Biarla sia seja yang paham~

And most of the time, only few people get  it.
When i say few, i mean 1 or 2. 

But about the cloudy thing... i really mean the weather. Not my day.
Well..
Even though i have a few discomfort these few days, i still have a pretty good day.

And oh, one of my blessings were temporarily take away from me.
To be exact, one of my just-met-wingless-angel.
(I really hope it's for temporary)
Just when i thought Father God had make a way for me.
Father God, bless her wherever she is.

But it's okay.
I guess now it's up to me now.

Up until now, i've been relying to other.
It's not wrong, but i can't rely on them forever.

But growing up i'm a pretty independent person. Too independent i guess.
I grow up doing things and going to a lot of places on my own.
I wonder where in the world i have so big of a courage.

I've been to a lot of places where i never been too, with not knowing anyone there.
Whenever i went to a new places for a particular period, i always go out alone on Sundays.
Because i wanted to go to church.

I'm beyond happy to say that i finally found the real reason of going to church.
Not merely because of obligation.
Not because for the sake of following my church friend.
Not because wanting to go jalan-jalan after the mass.
(No offence, i really love going to church with u guys, but i do appreciate the alone-me time)

Because i find that it was during those going-to-mass-alone time that i really know what i'm doing there.

For me, it's simple.

Because I really..really..really want to see Jesus.

You know how when you love someone, you wanted to see them as often as you can.
It's hard to describe with word.
So yeah, i am grateful, very grateful for the faith.
Thank you Father God. 

P.s: "Did you go to church because you don't want to go to hell?
Or because you want to go to heaven?"

May you too find you own reason,
aibeh

TGIF

Hi dear-whoever-is-reading,

first and foremost Thank You Father God that today i am still alive, still breathing and still kicking. 

May i, always be grateful and appreciate the little blessing in life, that by being a blessing myself to other, i too may share the blessing i received from You with other.

The short version of my blog today:

I broke my necklace chain.

I lost my cross. 

menangis di bolakang pintu~

And i feel sad.
Here's the cross that i've lost.
With Hope that i shall see it again.
*Ignore muka pura pura innocent sia.

There goes my short version of my blog.

But i feel like writing it longer.

Macam besa, skil merapu-rapu sia memang tidak boleh dinafikan lagi.

Baiklah, persilakan version panjang.

I felt sick.

No, not homesick.

Okay, maybe a little.

You know, no matter how old you are, you will still miss your home when you are away.

Ask me again in 30 years time. 

What i meant was that i’m more to physical sick.

Maybe because of the weather.

 Its very-super-damn- h.o.t here.

Once, i went out at 7.00 am and i was at the fish mart after like half and hour,

And i was drenched in sweat.

Oh man, talk about starting your day Fresh. T.T

Okay, not much to be blamed since this place is kinda surrounded with the beautiful ocean.

But the view here is.. talan air liur~

Oh My God.

Punya santik the water reflection from the ocean.

O.O~

It’s beyond word. I mean beyond my limited vocabulary..T.T

I once went to one of the resort and i saw the water reflection under the jambatan and i was in awed ni.

Should have took a picture but i stupidly did not charge my camera.

Again. T.T

Okay. Eh apa pla topic sia suda tuh? Apa-apa lah.

Baiklah. Selamat hari Lima kawan2. 

Sayang kamu semua. I rarely said this, so yeah i mean it. =)

TGIF! Have a blessed day ahead!GBU!

I love red ship, i love green ship and i also love yellow ship.
But most of all, i love our Friendship!

I miss my friend and i need a hug,

aibeh@ Det. Chonan

P.s I'm easily annoyed this few days. I'm sory. T.T 

Aunty P is coming i guess.

A little kindness goes a long way

Ok, before i share this, i'm not trying to impress anyone or to show off...or whatever you call it.
I just want to share my thoughts or feeling. Manatau kamurang tersentuh. Kunun. Tidak ba.
Because you know la,

Sharing is caring kan~

So, a quick update. I'm in a new place, about 700km away from my home.
And yes, it can be consider as one of my so-called 'out of comfort zone' and i'm very much unfamiliar with this place.
At first la.

However, i am getting used and adapted to this new surrounding.
So Yeah, terima kasih Tuhan Yesus! =)

Being here the first time, i can already notice that this place is not fully developed,
and no offence but poverty is the one thing that is very obvious.

Kids are wandering here begging for money or whatever people have to offer, and the other day when i went to throw a plastic of rubbish, i saw the kids are inside the big garbage searching for perhaps what-so-ever still can be reused or to be sell.

According to my not-so-statistical-research,
From 10 children that i came across with, 7.5 of them are not wearing shoes, or slippers.

Why ada 0.5 oh bilang? Hahaha
(And belum lagi sia kasi cerita what i saw in the kampung area in the island, fuh~)

And i asked myself, what la i should do?

And faster than the speed of lightning, this bible verses sprang to my mind: 
Matthew 25 : 35-40

Okla, actually i don't remember exactly which verse, i only remember the main point of the verse, which is:
Whatever you did to strangers, or to whosoever, you did for Him.


Since i did not hafal all the bible verse, here's the complete version of what i said structed me earlier:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in,  
I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was sick and you looked after me,
I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
 
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
 
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

So today during my lunch hour, i came across a little girl, who apparently, is not wearing slipper as well.
And i was walking back to the office, and i walk by her, (actualy i wanted to take another route ba, but strangely i still want to walk pass her by)

Then she approach me asking for food.
(Yala ba kan, takkan dia tiba2 minta salipar pla kan..)

I was stunned for a split second, and coincidentally i did not finish my lunch that day, so i tapau la my Nasi goreng Kampung yang SANGAT THE VERY PEDAS ni.

(Well. I believe that it's not a Coincidence. I mean the 'coincidentally' did not finish my lunch, and 'coincidentally' i feel like tapau-ing it)

I believe its His plan.
It's always when i least expect it, the unexpected will come whether i like it or not.
You know, i think God has a funny way of asking me to do the so-called little things in my life.


Yeah, at this point of my life.
I know and realize that i may not be a Saint. Obviously.

I'm no St Francis. No St Teresa of Avila @ The Little Flower.

And yes i don't even know half he names of the Saints.

And yes, i'm a sinner just like any normal being.

But you know what?

God still loves you. Whether you like it or not. 

I realize that it was because of we are a sinner that we come to Him.
It's not the sick people that need the doctor kan?

And I learned that God do not ask you to give things you don't have ba.

And God knows your limit. Always.
So do what you Can,
because i believe that a little kindness can make a difference.

So for me, i think i'm being called to the Little Things.
You know. The small small things.

And no matter how small you think your kindness is, trust me.
It's never small in God's eye.

Remember the verses i said that structed me these few days? It's like a magic verse ni, i mean whenever i saw kids with no slipper, or kids begging, or kids that lives in poverty, the verse will like come to me in that exact moment.

So i quickly gave the little girl my tapau.

Thank you Father God. For showing me the way.
May you bless the girls and the rest of the living-in-the poverty-kids out there.

I wish i can do more, i just haven't have a clear picture of how i can help more. So let start it through small things first. Nothing is impossible in Jesus name kan. Amen!

And another thing i learned is to be grateful of what you have, sometimes looking at people living in poverty, makes you realize how abundant your blessing are.

P.s : I'm laughing inside my heart when i saw so many kids wihtout slippers here, isaid this to myself 'Looks like i'll be buying dozens of slippers while i'm here.' Btw, i haven't bought any slipper yet. Hope to do that soon. Or more