A broken heart is like a broken glasses?

Ohaiyo minna san.

Okay, the title pretty much sums up my post today.

Its my semester break now, that’s why i have time to update my once-in-a-blue-moon blog.
I didn’t update it like everyday,  
okay im one of those lazy blogger and makes people wonder why the heck did I make a blog if I know I will be as lazy to update it.

Well, because I think that my blog is just one of those voiceless voice where I’ll only write about things that I don’t usually talk to people about. 

And that some things are best to be kept to yourself. *Trust me =D


So, in short.
I’ll update my blog only to share things that I think are worth to be shared to other.

No, im not trying to show off here in my blog talking big about how blessed my life is or trying to teach other of life principle or morals or ethic or whatsoever you call it.

Its because good things are meant to be shared.

Because you know what they said :

Sharing is caring. 

And it’s a wonderful feeling. =D


And I was the kind of person who think a lot. 

When I saw something or someone, even its just the smallest detail of it, I just can’t help but to think further and my imagination just took over me. *And sometimes it pisses people off, sorry  my friend. =D

Well, I like how the little things in life make you wonder, you know.


Things that we overlook, things that are considered blessing to other, thing we took for granted, little things that matter.
.
I love how when sometimes I look at something or something happens, it makes me realize. makes me think. Teach me something.

*okay aibeh boleh ko mula cerita suda bilang..berjela jela ah bilang. boleh buat buku suda ni.


So I was washing the dishes just now. .

And as I was arranging the plates, one of the bowl slipped from my hand and I was trying to catch it.


Using my leg.

...............

..................

Ya i used my leg.

-_-okay2.. i know what you gonna say to me.

Okay, good job aibeh. Ko ingat ko monyet sarkas ka bilang.!

I don’t know what the heck was I thinking, I guess its my reflect working there.

Maybe i thought that I can kick it and when it flew on the air in slow motion i'll catch it using my hand like The Matrix.

Or Like one of those movies of Bruce Lee. Sot. Mulau bilang.

Okay2. Its out of topic already.


So the bowl broke into pieces and thank God my mum is not one of the antique Chinese porcelain collector that collect expensive and irreplaceable antiques at homes.


*Well, its not like my family is rich enough to buy those things, and plus even if we are rich,

 WHO uses expensive antiques porcelain bowl to eat  at the first place anyway?

Thank God. Or i'll have to hide the evidence. 

 And thank God I was alone at home.

*If not, my sister will just make a fuss of it as if she never broke one. bla bla balaa~  

So I just look at the broken pieces of the bowl and I remember one quote I’ve heard before.

Broken hearts are like broken glasses. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

So, as I was picking those broken pieces I ask: “If I just leave those broken glasses there, won’t it hurt somebody else?


And well I don’t really agree on this quote. No offence. Everyone have a piece of their mind.

Here's what i think.

You gotta fix what you broke. Even if its gonna hurt you.

Because if you don’ pick the broken glasses, someone else will be hurt. 

And it might be the people who love you, and who care about you, who want you to be happy.


And its better to hurt yourself than to carry the guilt of hurting other for not fixing things when you still have the chance. Well, that’s what I think.

And if you are afraid to be hurt, then you’ll ever be in love.

Because with love comes pain.

But with pain come the Strength.

Right?

No?

*Fair enough. Everyone have their own view. And this is mine. =D


I do believe that pain makes you stronger. And those obstacles in life are what will sandpaper you, and it might hurt for a temporary period, but when you manage to overcme it, you are stronger than ever.


You know.. I always think that you should be careful what you ask for. 

When you ask God to make you stronger, don’t expect strength will come easily.


God will give you obstacles to overcome, but remember Lord will never give you burden you cannot carry.


Lord never promises you a life full of roses, but He promises that when the time you are put to test, He will provide you the strength to overcome it.

So, the conclusion is that I feel that when you have a broken heart, don’t just leave it.

Its partly true that broken heart are like broken glasses, its better to leave them than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.


But well, if you just leave those broken glasses like that, you are not the only one hurting, you’ll hurt others who step on it.

You see, when you have a broken heart, you are not the only one who is hurt.  

 

Other who loves you, who care about you, will hurt as well. 
Okay. Maybe not as much as you do. But still they do feel the pain as well.


So if you just leave your broken heart like that afraid of hurting yourself more by fixing it, you are just hurting  others as well and most importantly your spiritual self, and you will need one of those inner healing.

Because a doctor can’t heal a broken heart, only God can.

Don’t be afraid to get hurt in the process of fxing the broken glass, because with pain comes the Strength.

And pain is a part of the learning process in our life.

Isn't it? No pain no gain. That's what they said.=D

Ya, i can't agree more a heart is like a glass.

So, if you are break a glass, pick up the pieces! 

In the end, some one will have to pick it and get hurt. 

And that 'someone' is you.

Because its your heart.


Don't leave it, deal with it.

Because we are not small kids anymore.


We can't just leave things and hope that other will take care of you and your problem.

So,

And if you have a broken heart, Fix it.

If you can't, then leave it to God.

Let God fix it for you, but you gotta let Him have the pieces.

Simple enough. =D

But well, fair enough, everyone have their own view. Right?

Okay, enough of my bla bla blaa~

Good day everyone. =D

不是你的就别再勉强

Ya, suddenly i miss writing in chinese character.

I almost forgot the things is learned back then, during my primary years.

Things has been normal lately. 

And its kinda boring.

So, a voice, a small voice is telling me, *though i do not know whose voice it is

'aibeh, its ok to let go. Its ok. 

Just let it be. 

God has greater plan for you, and you might not see it now, but you will. One day, you will see it.'

Sometimes im so stubborn, i know that it can be, but still its hard for me to give up.

But well, this is life.

It aint a bed of roses.

If it is, you won't become stronger.

Falling for a few times makes you stronger.

If you never fall, you will be so weak.

And i heard this quote somewhere:

it s not about how many times you fall, its about how many time you stand up again after you fall.

So even if I fall a thousand time, it doesn’t matter, coz I know that I’ll stand up again and if I don’t, God will raise me up.

Keh, cukup la sa merapu di sini. gotta get back to my studying session~ waa~

Another 1 year. 1 year, 2 semester, 12 months, 365 days.

sigh~
a lot of people trying to piss me off lately.
my patience is really wearing thin, going way off my limits.
Thank God im not the person i used to be,
the 'me' back then would not have as much patience as i do now.
I would just piss of and declare a silent war for whole month. Ya whole month. U hear me right.

And lately, people are triggering the old 'me', and most of the time, i really feel like snapping the people who  is trying to bring me down and ignore them.
As if its worth my time being angry at those people.
Sigh~
Life has been hard on me lately.
If u are not gonna make me happy,
pleasee..
at least dont piss me.

And i come across this small voice inside me. It struck me right in my head.
And i recall that i did pray that i wish i can be a good friend to the people around me.
And so, thats what God is making me.
A Good friend.
And God is doing that by giving me difficult friends.
And yes, be careful what u ask for.
And well, it all make sense now.
And if this is how im gonna be a good friens, so be it.
All i need is to pray that ill have the strong will and through God's grace ill be able to be a good friend.
Ya, i know im not pretty much the best-est friend u ever had, but still im one of your friend.
God bless. ~_~

Difficult relationship is made up of difficult people

Well..the post title pretty much sum up my feeling.
May i have the patient to endure when it come to me.
Even though they are difficult, i still love them to bits. =)

Note to God

I know You miss me.
I do too, but i just dont have the will to put so much effort to come back to You. Im coming back now. Its been quite a while since the last time.
Hurm. Maybe its because things have been turning out pretty wel for me. And i tend to forget. Im just as human as others.
And well, things can be quite annoying sometimes.
And sometimes when people give me those indirectly hurtful remarks, i may look like i dont care and took it as jokes, but sometime i do feel small, feel useless, and yes feel insulted as well.
Again. Im just as human as you do.
But i know im the kind of person that shows nothing on my face but yet, you never know whats been playing in my mind.
Im just good at hiding my feeling.
Which sometimes can be a bad things you know.
And yes, im the kind of person that will keep things in my heart, not on my faces,  trying to bear as much as i can when people hurt try to me, accumulated those negative feeling and end up having lots of the so called luka batin.
Spirituality hurt.
And guess where did i let out all those negative feeling, those hidden feeling of  hatred and unsatisfactory?
Those seminar and retreat.
Thank God there is medium for me to channel out my voiceless voice that i had been keeping al those times..
Thank God there is Life Fire.
Thank God there is CSG.
THANK GOD.
*Which i went once every year, or if im lucky, once every semester.
To give me one of those inner healing.
Oh yes. Things has been turning out pretty well for me.
Well. For now.

Not all the angels have wings, and not all that have wings is an angel.

*9^th Jan 2010

So, i started to blog. And im still new to this thing.

And Ive been trying here and there to upgrade my blog. In the meantime im exploring the layouts, and yes it take lots of Time and Patience to do this. ~_~

See? I dont even have time to update my blog, and now im changing the layout and whatsoever gadgets there are out there. Duh.

I though that this might be the time to share whatever things ive been through with my life, to share the little things in life that matters a lot, to share my perspective of viewing life from the other angle, or maybe just to make you laugh and make your days a little brighter.

Minna san,im good at procrastination, so u are not gonna see me updating my blog every single day.

I only blog when :

Im happy, and overjoy. Yay!

Im having an emotional breakdown. Duh.

Something unexpected happen~ *Just go with the flow~

When i suddenly feel grateful of the little things  *they said its the little thing that matter

When i have nothing to do (ya i know2, as if i didn’t have assignments to work on) *ya rite.

When i feel something good happen and i want to share it. Double yay!

                                                        ~random snap at Kundasang~

I’ve been browsing through my pictures, pictures with family, friends, bffs, dearest, and others. And i came to a conclusion that im blessed. Im so blessed. The people around me is so dear to me, and iom so thankful to dear God for sending me them. Thank you dear sweet Jesus.

Well, these people dont always says thing i want to hear, but they always say things that i need to hear. They are like angels to me, well of course without wings.

And for me you dont have to have wings to be an angel.

Not all the angels have wings, and not all that have wings is an angel.

 

As i look at those picture, i imagine that one day when im dead, there are gonna some kind of a flashback to my life. Like looking to a slide show showing pictures what deeds i did and what wrong i did in my life.

Im not being negative here, just trying to be grateful.

Well, i think that its not about how long you live, it’s about how u spent your life.

And so, its more than enough already even if u get to live for another 1 month but u live it meaningfully and happily with people u love so dearly.
Because even if u get to live another hundred years but u aren’t happy or satisfied, its useless.
In fact, its kinda tiring.

People come and go, but they remain forever in your heart.

And yes my friend, you will always be in my heart. If im gonna make a list of the people that has been so dear to me, im gonna end up making a book instead.  I know i’ve been such a pain in the ass sometimes, and yes we do argue with each other, but i still love u guys the same.

Thank you Lord, for this blessed life.

Here are some of the pics of angels God sent to me, and lotsa random pic.

~zai jia kao jia ren, zai wai kao jia ren~

~best-est BFF i could ever ask for~

 

  

 

~dearest KML roomates~

~kebun~

~dey call themself babengs =p~

Some of them come into my life, and for some reason couldn’t stay longer.

But still im glad that our path crossed.

~dearest wews~

 Meet as Strangers, leave as Friends.

~Goofing around~

Im so glad.

So glad you’ll never know.

 Thank God.

PS : stil lots of pic of angels not published yet, soon. =)

If i have time. =)

For He knows whats best

Minnasan. Sashiburi.
*Writing in Japanese reminds me that i still have a lot of shukudai to be done for my Japanese class. zan nen desune.

So.
Its CNY holidae, and it is also my mid semester holidae. And yes, also a Valentine day.
And so i was planning to spend my weekend(13,14th) at Kaingaran, Tambunan.
They were having a retreat there, which i so want to go actually.
But end up spending my weekend at my dad's kampung.
-_-

Hurm.
And i feel kinda guilty. To God.
Well, i malas to elaborate the details here. Or to eplain the obstacles i faced.
Enough la if i just say i feel guilty and sayang ni that i cannot go.
And no  need to explain much when i know its my own fault.
I Really Really wanna go.
In fact, i even see myself there, finding my way back to God.
And i even ask for the form weeks before.

But well, i made my choice.
And i gotta live with it.
I told myself that if i didnt go to this retreat because of personal reason or because of some minor obstacles,
*which i could have choose to go but i didnt.
I know i would never be able to forgive myself.

Because He said that to follow Him, u will have to let go of everything, to leave behind anything and everything. Even your family.

And i still feel sorry for myself.
And when i saw the pictures of my friend who did went to this retreat.
makes me even more regret and feel so..hurm..i dont know.

Well, the hardest person to forgive is not your friend, nor your enemy. But its yourself.
Well, im choosing another thing before Him. And my willpower just isnt strong enough. in
And although there were a lot of aral yang melintang pukang, i should have trust in You Lord.

But i didnt. Im sorry Lord.
I know God will forgive me, but well i still couldnt forgive myself.
Should let go of it soon.
And to be honest, im kinda jealous to those who did went to this retreat.

And i feel im drifting further and further away. Im holding on now. Holding on.
Many things that i need to let go. But never did i really let go.
And so the least i could do is to pray.

To let go is hard. But to hold on is harder.

Dono which one should i do. To let go or to hold on.
But well, i know i should let go.
Lord, may i have the Strength to let go of things that arent meant to be mine.
And help me to see that it is for my good. For our good.
Because You know what is best for us.

JLU.